A Guide to Caring for Aging Family Members

Plan

Katie and I were born in the same year—1948.  The thought of having to spend life in a nursing home, potentially for decades, makes me cringe.  Especially for someone like Katie who is vivacious to the point of hyperactivity.  She is selfless—always helping others.  She has raised a foster child.  She has done mission work in Peru and on reservations in the Western United States.  She has helped friends and neighbors with cancer.  She was a caregiver for her mother and mother-in-law.  She provided support to David and me when we were caregivers for my mother-in-law.  It’s time to give back.

Because of my professional background, I knew that Katie would qualify for a waiver program.  I was familiar with a company that provides a consistent live-in caregiver 24/7 at a cost, that although expensive, is about 25% of what most companies charge.  But there were two major challenges.

The first was to convince Sam (Katie’s husband) to have two assessments for services—from the potential provider and from the Area Agency on Aging.  But, Sam said, “I just can’t see it.”  After many months, I finally resorted to telling Sam I just could not continue to visit Katie so often at the nursing home—it was too difficult seeing her living in that environment while he was resistant to exploring all potential options.  I told Katie I had done all that I could do—it was up to her to persuade Sam.

The second challenge was that waivers do not generally provide 24-hour care.  The plan hinged on convincing a bureaucratic institution to see the obvious:  that it makes sense to provide 24-hour care when the cost is equitable to the 10-hours of care from “approved” providers (as well as cheaper than a nursing home).

I’m unsure of the motivating factor, but in May 2014, Sam decided to move ahead with the assessments.  He called the Area Agency on Aging to request an assessment.  I called the 24-hour provider, who was available to assess Katie the following week.  I then e-mailed the social services director at Aging, who was able to facilitate the agency process.  Everything fell into place.  The 24-hour provider prepared a care plan that was then ready to present at the agency assessment.

We were informed of a new program called “Services My Way,” which was exactly what was needed to be able to care for Katie successfully in her home.  However, the program had not yet been administered in this county.  So the assessments were complete—the care plan completed and submitted.  It was now time to wait…….

Wait

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Comments on: "The Plan: Katie’s Story, Part Six" (2)

  1. dejavuagain said:

    This is a cliff-hanger. Maybe there haven’t been many comments because people are holding their breath for the next episode! Praying that Katie emerges whole from this experience.

    • Thank you, thank you! It’s even a cliff-hanger for me because the telling of the tale is almost up to current time. It will then unfold for all of us day by day. The goal is to see life improve for BOTH Katie and Sam. To that end we will remain hopeful.

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