Confessions of a CaregiverPosted: October 20, 2021 Filed under: Emotional and Physical Challenges, Impact on Family Relationships | Tags: caregiver emotions, caregiving education, elder care, experience gap, Pamela Wilson, The Caring Generation 3 Comments
Caregivers—do you sometimes think horrible thoughts that you are uncomfortable sharing with others (except maybe with an online support group)? Or maybe you have simply blurted out something terribly inappropriate and then thought, “I can’t believe I said that!
Well, I have. (More on that in a minute.)
That is the topic of Pamela Wilson’s September 15, 2021, podcast “Wishing a Sick Parent Would Die
If you are not a caregiver you might be shocked if you were to hear a caregiver say they wish a parent would die. You might wonder how someone could possibly feel or think this way to the point that they could utter such words.
It’s easy to be judgmental, and challenging to be empathetic—especially when you don’t fully understand the daily life of caregivers. THE OTHERS–they just don’t get it. Because of what is called experience gap there is a lack personal insight when you are not experiencing caregiving on a full-time basis.
So, click on the link below to listen to the Caregiving Generation podcast. You will gain broader understanding and new perspectives whether you are a Caregiver or a family member who may not “get it” and are therefore, in need of education.
Wishing a Sick Parent Would Die – The Caring Generation® (pameladwilson.com)
My less-than-stellar Caregiver Comment Confession:
“I have no desire to touch your mother in that way, and at times
I can hardly even stand to see, smell, or hear her around me.”
During the family meeting Sandy had said that seniors become more childlike, more egocentric. She expressed strongly that Mom would benefit from being touched. She expected hand-holding and hugging and suggested that I do that more. I could see that my very frank and harsh reply shocked her. “I have no desire to touch your mother in that way, and at times I can hardly even stand to see, smell, or hear her around me.” I couldn’t believe the sound of my own words, which were much worse than their actual meaning—that there was no getting away from Mom’s presence, even when she was visiting someone else. I think those words finally got through to Sandy—that the emotional turmoil we had been through the past year had reached the point that it was imperative to find a resolution to the growing problems. I moved on from being disappointed and angry; I was now distraught.What to Do about Mama? pp. 17-18